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I've come to love you
more than words
can effort to say

I want you this moment
your honey lips
somewhere seeking
catalyst to inspire
poems in your own way

How I see myself
defined in your gentle form
young visionary random scribe
filling world with story
prophet of next day's lesson

I watch her contend phrase
preserving moment
a Taurus
lover of moon and song
stars as parading company

I am ruled by sun
a Leo
alone with poem
shadow wind trailing
distant prophecy

 

Muse Of Broken Wing

Young one suffering haste
I wish her more than anything
effortless well-being
better when she lays on me
and expects me to love her

Time easy in passing
tranquil as saving grace
she sleeps eyes gelled
Celtic dragon tattoo adorning shoulder
perky breasts
nipples pierced by silver balled ring

Chill moments of winter
together late night
her lips parted in breathe
head comfortable pressure against my shoulder
knee draped across my waist

Lost in her splendor moments
I love her
dawn finds me feeding her touch
with my own

No better refuge than this bed
given to her distraction
stranded with muse of broken wing

 

Wheeler Dude

Quiet respect keeps some distant
compassion intriguing others
to engage conversation

I offer my attention
eye contact inviting dialogue
impact slicing through judgment
and preconceived notion

I ease their attraction with smile
testing curiosity

Many will look
no doubt some will stare

It doesn't bother me
what they think
worlds they imagine for mine

I am defined by my own creation
situation belonging to me alone

Surrounded by the kindest friends
empathically sensuous sisters
those who work for me
so willing to assist
be part of my world

I'm blessed to not be barred in institution
where people strand others
in a moment of crisis
or if the check no longer comes through
Stiff in seclusion
restless with only TV as company
I see their bodies ate up by sores
lying in filth
waiting for someone
anyone to enter earshot
willing to shift positioning

Where would I be
without the waiver
home with senior parents
wearing them thin
pushing them to their own demise

I give so much praise
gratitude to the many
that have assisted me
to get this far
each in own peculiarity

Thank you for allowing me
time to experience memories
entwined with your life and living

Thanks for chance
to present even these words now

 


Deja-Vu Disability

I turned 17 at a juvenile treatment facility
called Turning Point
near Moultrie, Georgia

Before I left
I met a guy named Mike
new to the adolescent program

We didn't know each other
and never got time to really hang-out
I was leaving to face the real world
a still confused teen
trying to change friends
ways of being lifestyle and routine

I got heavily involved with martial arts
girl named Stacy

A year later Turning Point called
asked if I would visit Mike
at the Shepherd Spinal Center
in downtown Atlanta

They said he'd broke his neck
diving into a shallow lake
somewhere in South Georgia

At the time I knew nothing really
of what exactly paralysis
or 'breaking your neck' really meant


The next day Stacy and I visited him laid up
hidden away in hospital sheets
and multitude of blankets
pink cushioned foam collar stabilizing neck

He had a metal framed halo
attached to his head
stiffening cervical alignment
wearisome family surrounding
trying to comfort situation
crying to handle concern

I'm not sure he recognized me at all
machines blinking toning life support
private second floor room
single window view

We stayed with him for while
his family left us alone grateful for the break
giving us time to re-establish connection

I told him I was sorry
that he'd get better
soon things would refer back to normal

I never realized I lied
and that he's probably in wheelchair even now

I had all but forgotten him
until I recalled the whole scene
arriving by ambulance jet
from a sunny beautifully warm California
where I had spent the past years of life
establishing self
To what seemed the same room
of the same floor
of the same hospital
I had visited 6 years prior

Recalling incidents
amazing how idle moments elicit memory

In Shepherd myself
with probably the same injury
trying to figure fated meaning
over restless persuasion

I am still learning reasons why
content with situation
doing life a little differently
but loving it all the more

 

Evolving Relations

Beautiful relating much struggle
bringing it to this

Parents are children too
pretending to be responsible
in mature attitude

Just as lost
we act out in defiance purging self
processing evolution
growing through tears & laughter
gathering memories
lessons in daily passing

Families define love
sometimes in crazy interpretation
even with good intention especially young

Children watch in confusion
the conflict of parental relating
screams manic moments
anger enflamed words let lose
statements to wound or kill
miscuing crimes of passion
never meaning to hurt deeply

Children learn about relationship
patterns whether healthy or insane
from witnessing parental behaviors

They/We mimic these cycles
in our own struggles
Learning to treat others
from what we were witness to see

In evolving
we establish what we want to hold on to
and what we must discard
when tired of painful routines
redefining patterns of unrequited love
we so willfully desire

I've watched my parents evolve
30 years of marriage
and can honestly say
I could only hope
to find one such as my mother
and be the husband my father exampled to me

I give thanks to them
for their beautiful relating
and privilege of being their son

 


Daily Word August 19, 1997

27 today years fading
like sprinkled stars in dawn's horizon
arrival of sun threatening new day

Life ever blessed
new unfolding intercedes classroom convening

I am older wiser
relaxed in my paralysis breathing with it
learning the patience it demands

My friend Dominic and I are entertaining
idea for provider agency
doing all I can to help self and others
stay out of pain
learning from my body as I go

With ADAPT over 2 years now
disturbed by disability history
the horrors of accepted treatment
millions locked away confined to die

I'm glad to have met others
also disgruntled by
the nonchalant attitudes of some
who think things are alright the way they are

In every face I see myself
it could be me living in nursing home
abandoned by life
discarded like a broken doll
trashed by once proud owner
Doing what I can
to help in long term care policy
giving opinion to boards and task force

The Waiver saved me
saves me even as friends strangers
are left contending refuge
in dire straits

Things will change
ADAPT will change them
doing what we need to foster
a new era of civil rights
for a community of people
still denied fair access to life and living

Lead
follow
or get the hell out of the way

 

For Gaia

Remember once when we used to pass
celebrate spring and harvest
cloaked in white
trailing candles
through wine dark morning

Chant dance and pray
ritual among ancient stones
temples aligned to equinox
stars in proper alignment

Forgive us for forgetting
of our need for you
Earth mother

 


Christmas Charity

Evening dies
panther night withdrawing
the bright promise
of glowing stars
& luminous constellation dreams

Morning eclipse broken
Christmas dawn rises
beaconing clouds
vaulting heaven in shock color

Mars Sun
blood red morning
embracing wide backed sky
in puff of pearlescent haze

I sit amazed
humbled by the trembled hues
interceding procession
night giving way to morning

6 years paralyzed
hip hassled
by all day sitting
still thankful for being
not all are given chance
to resume breathing

Christmas no holiday for the trees
I think of those less fortunate
starving unsheltered with no hope
of what to do
I want to give to them
please others
if only for moments

Spark a tinge of hope for those
who have nothing
nothing to give
expecting nothing
not even phone call

 

Saint of Circumstance

Life's most relevant teachers
exampled service to humanity
and each other

The greatest duty
giving without expectation
needing nothing in return
living without regard
of learned prejudice

Humble moments
filled with gratitude
grateful for any choice to action

Wise intent always in occasion
loved for righteous illustration
humanity idolizes saintly figures
placing them on pedestals
said unreachable to common man
who then never appeals to try

Declared saint
deeper meaning aligns the action
of servants
eloping strange reward

We are they
they are we

Namaste O Mitakye Asin
forever yours
I will to will thy will

 


Enduring Tragedy

Relationship post injury
bound my family
like no time prior

We were disjointed in the past
seeking separate endeavor
entertaining life habits alone

My routine was work/school
martial arts sparring
weights late night
stretches in sauna/steam room

Injury prepared us remember
imbuing life with deeper meaning
dissolving petty difference
meaningless to essential relating

New perspective brought new values
ways of communing
I'm a better person now
having learned from near dying
battling now for the rights of myself
and others

Discrimination forces one to rise up
if your disabled you're labeled
and must own up to the fight

ADAPT provided me a means
to channel anger fueled
as I learned about disability history
Others cared what was up
and that made all difference
for cause greater than my own

Working the political front
trenching protest 60's style
2000 a new millennium
and we're still denied
fair access to freedom

Proving there's yet more to do
God just know you're forgiven
and thanks for the parents life
no money can buy

 


For Them That Might Understand

Suzanne and I read poems
a full two hours
to motley gentle crowd
ready for my dish

Back-room scene
bean-bag posh
soft oriental intimacy
as they gathered before me cradling space
upon color matted floor

Back-room back-door
downtown Golden Bough book store
CJ fingering soft keys
setting tone
for quiet introspection

Mellow mood séance enchanted
fragrant incense to spice air
no cooler group one could call
to assembly

Wind chimes gentle music
calm pace
soft words setting space
generating relaxation

Tonight I would give them pieces of my life
they would see beyond
the mask of my fate as I reopen
forgotten wounds
joyous memory
Treasured moments sculpted
forming fragmentary poetry
vision of paradise lost
and found

Sharp slice of knife
thick throbbing vein
free wet crimson blood
words dripping slowly
precious life
the offering of poetic soul

Opening Midsummer's Night
followed by Natural Mystic
Suzanne with Concrete Jungle
then collaboration
on Inspired Soul

20 or so other poems trailing reflection
selections covering the past 4 years
of my life's strange coursing

Lacing thought in deep confessional voice
how everyone hung amazed
on every syllable word
breathing as I breathe
pausing as I pause
to look up into their faces

Suzanne theatrically inclined
how swift and sure-footed she was
bounding sentence in gymnastic grace
tumbling word to word
fueling imagination
The poems faded one by one
with black-mooned Night
creeping westward under blanket of darkness
drapery of stars trailing

I felt we succeeded
if only for moments
to jester in space
opening them to contemplation
riddled my own way
occasion fading
with words hinting verbal decree

 


So Many Roads

Young and misconstrued
relegated to wander
my path diverged from yours

No excuse to suggest
I was determining self
trying to know rather than believe

No reviving past opportunity
I look on to future with new wisdom
achieved from days that lie between

All history set aside
can you accept my resignation
forgive me new intrusion
grant me chance to know you again

Together
we'll push new boundaries
in ways they never conceived we could

Love you son
I wonder about your days
ways you play
and what you do

Time will settle all mystery
bring new event to facilitate
new memory

Hope to see you soon

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