St. Louis, Missouri
National Governors Association
ADAPT Rage For Order Tour 1999

15 hour Greyhound trek
endured in laughter
fewer of us this time
being regional action
it would be easier
for police to contend

With Clinton in route to speech
the National Governors Association
heightened security was impending

The air electric tension bubbled
as they barred us
from the Adams Mark Hotel
where all 50 Governors stayed

Inside eating cheesecake and sipping wine
most governors unanimously believe
disabled lives unworthy
of quality of life accommodation
pledging support to Olmstead
and States rights to place people
into institutional care
while at the same time fining them
for cruel and unusual punishment

Many are dying
waiting their whole lives
hoping something would change
needing someone to care
Advocacy is life for many of us
must make it easier for others
everyday cannot be a struggle
someday resolution
must assume strange displacement

Jesse (The Body) Ventura
independent party governor of Minnesota
and infamous wrestling renown
trespassed police lines
to meet us
and address our concerns

It was the only direct acknowledgment
from any of our 50 elected officials
and as we left from protesting the first day
city workers with police escort
extended barricades
2 city blocks in every direction

Unable to access their convention
the leadership posse
conspired assault on buses ordained
for the evening event

Having trouble locating carriage
Mike and Greg spent
an hour and a half
hunting up and down
the streets of St. Louis
looking for their buses
as everyone else
awaited appointed destination

It was then "The Bus God" delivered
14 shiny white NGA stagecoach buses
right out in front of
our Regal Riverfront hotel

Spotting them
Bob Kafka returned in frenzy
rallying troops to ascend on positions
blockading every bus if we could

With promise of an exquisite
four star Steak Dinner
for the first to capture bus
everyone accelerated for door

In less than 2 minutes
35 ADAPT members were handcuffed
body and chair
to a fleet of buses idling quietly
awaiting to gather Governors company

Heather, Freedom, Dremmel, and I
took front line
on the 2nd row of NGA buses
electing to pass being behind carriers
swamped in exhaust fumes

Some drivers were irate
obviously disturbed
by our presence
honking horns
one giving us the finger

Soon madness lined streets
photographers news crews
state and city police swarmed
among dancing lights and flashing cams

Every station showed up
in matter of minutes
to gather what would be headline news

We gave them our story
told them of institutional bias
lives being lost

ADAPT can not simply allow
decimation policy
to control fate and fortune
of a huge population of people
whom choose choice
and want alternatives in healthcare placement

We uphold the conscious right
of all beings everywhere
to equal access
and fair participation
in inclusive environments
promoting health and well-being

It is not right for corporations to profit
at the expense of people

Our country was founded on
civil disobedience
rebellion against oppressive tyranny
contriving declaration for independence
We shall not rest until vindicated
35 were arrested 33 of us went to jail
as 5 hours passed while we were processed
gathered fingerprinted and detained

None minded fighting for the equal rights
of all people
jail was just another day
advocating for those locked away
dying in cruel institutions

Dinner was a bologna sandwich
which I gave away
sandwich bag of Fritos 2 oatmeal cookies
an orange and some water-downed juice

19 wheelers and one able body
locked up in the same cell
those who could assisted those who needed help

Genuine scene of grand brotherhood
women in a different cell
sang songs of freedom

"We shall overcome
we shall overcome someday
deep in my heart I do believe
we shall overcome someday."

We spent the evening relaying stories
getting to know each other better
over conversations of previous arrests
shared laughter
and oranges peeled by a stranger's hand

 


Masters of Creation

The insects animals trees of natural wonder
live in peaceful disregard
to our wise civilized ways

Science would have us believe
that Nature has no soul
and that we are the only conscious entities
in the entire universe

That statement in itself
denotes ignorance
the Everything watches the great importance
we assume our lives entail

Waiting for us to awaken
from superior separation

How wise are we
that we can't even care for our own home

 

Glance on Time

Unfathomable sophistication
the life giving drama
cycle of rain sun seasons
transfusing hydro-energy
flushing land
enabling abounding life & sound

Myself forever found now
speak words in time
leaving thought meant unspoken
for them latter to define

Claiming to know
only what I've seen & felt
in the deep adventure of exploring soul

Doubting all you throw before me
no mindless brute
look about see which creature
walks in weird angles
lost among it all

Silent creeping wide-eyed
& steady breathing
I am a serpent
among tall grass

 

Renewed Beginning

I opted to chase road to adventure
and self discovery
thinking about you as you'd grow

I did what I felt right for the time
seeking answers
questions
questions to answers

I carried you with me
in heart
crossing roads and sunset horizons

Wondering often of your progress
and what significance was spurring growth

So pleased to have heard from you
I am thankful
so very pleased
life has brought us full circle
to unite story

Praise God Stacy found a man
worthy of her embrace
unoccupied by worry
mature enough to handle
love she has to offer

The one thing I felt unresolved
the one hole emptying soul
the one decision haunting my life destiny
has finally been concluded
Our now ritual chats
and checking in
sharing what was held back all those years
has filled me
fulfilled me for rest of journey

I found answers I needed out there
trailing fragment truths
piecing together puzzles
reconstructing delusions hampering man

All my found secrets
every poem anecdote
is for you Justin
all I do for you

You are my greatest legacy
my greatest joy
I'm proud of you
and delighted to have you back in circle

Praise everything leading it to this

 


Grand Casino Hotel

It's 11:30 now my parents sleep
nestling dreams with deep breathing

I've been writing since 7:12
allowing thought to flow pages
which will someday portray moment's occasion

At any time I can sit with silence
open myself to poems that come

It's not always been this easy
I've been writing now 18 years

I know not every thing I scribe
will be relevant for passing
some memories must remain untouched by word

Some occasions needn't conspire
phrased parable or thoughtful undertaking
I write to fulfill need
give heed to that voice inside that says
"Listen, I have things to say."

I'll never know if it's the same
for others
most care not to listen

Self-proclaimed prophet
of new millennium
I dictate songs to interest
leaving hint to them
who may later need

 


Fade to Black

I am fading my back hurts
arms tired fighting off sleep
though I'm flowing so well

I want one more poem to mark occasion
give rise to voice inside

Praise the Most High
for conscience being
night to the Spirit of musing
the Dragon Lady at home
awaiting our next engaging discourse

The ocean churns quietly
lulling night in peaceful lullaby
I must flip onto my stomach
lessen the pain of posture
give my back the reprieve it will need
to acquaint day in new rendering

Good night sweet muse
of uncertain word
let us dance again tomorrow
in new poem


Momentary Zen

Words read right for those
whose experience matches meaning

I wonder what they see
and if it's beyond this wheelchair

I can't allow their interpretation
to rule my world

Each person defines self
in what limitations
we ourselves infect upon life

Freedom is self defining
being okay with who you are
where you are
for the time
pleasure of being there
here

 

Morning Sanctuary

Some wander to and fro evading center
courting internal dialogue
as it distracts focus
with material entertainment
to fulfill moment
day to day

Forced into meditation
disability has made me extremely aware
awake with dream

Trying to positively vibe world
share light along way
in harmony
aligned to the rhythms of the giant family

The Mayan ancestors try to imbue
through ritual and calendar
sacredness in all moments
ceremony in all being

Church is living everyday ritual
waking eating drinking sleeping dreaming
'I am' is a moment of prayer

Stumbling through stillness
paralysis and pain
seeking life's warm calm

I am making the best
of all I am
and can be

 


S.A.D. - Social Anxiety Disorder

She is gone
and I am alone
thank God
salvation is my own

So perfect
our relationship now smitten
she faded
the dark corridor
of dank hallway
eyes darting in avoidance
mood absorbed
in sad countenance

Mean demeanor
why do you hate world girl
warped in paranoid thought
cold to audience

Forgive me retreat
nothing can be rightly said
I do not understand
it seems foreign to me
the strangeness of your predicament
and why everything
bugs you so

So bothered by all you can't control
how can life be
so difficult
when I pamper you
providing for your every need
Does every dawn
bring more trouble your way
do you not see
feel the sunshine of day
life so beautiful
burnishing soft skin
in warm chastity

I don't know what to do
to help you
but maybe if you feel better
I'll hold you tomorrow

 


Carrion

I loved you
until I couldn't spare the pieces
to satisfy your vixen ways

Incredible while it lasted
no denying
I still dream of your moments of kindness
hungering for your relief
soothing quake of your touch
love focused my way

Maybe I wouldn't have been marooned this way
if we had just ended it sooner

We didn't and here I am
still thinking we could have saved each other
when no one else could

You would have dragged me down
fed off my carcass
until there was fresh meat to devour

I couldn't let it happen
not needing more psychodrama
on top of what I was already trying to handle

I wish you well in your every endeavor
beautiful child
maybe we can share journey
later in the trip

 


Irreconcilable Differences

She sought to own me
even knowing what I must do

I couldn't help
she needed so much more
than I professed to give

Too far too fast
can we recompense time shared
redeeming those definitions
prior to love's ugly form

I wanted what was paramount for us both
succeeded only in
escalating your madness

Can you own the river flowing free
pushing wind to measure
escorting ocean awaiting progress

 

Paradise Kingdom

Aware always
where I am in moment
trying not to mix energy
with those creating misery
through insane conduct
attracting karma consequence

Learning to recognize cycles patterns
wisdom of higher teaching
I am rambling free
one now to next

No particular affiliation or set way
knowing of the teachings
of Jesus Buddha Krishna Mohammed
and the others

One must find Spirit
in personal awakening
give thanks to Creator Creation
in ones own way

Magnificent Earth
temple worthy of housing the holy
praise the Most High
for my conscience being
may I act on what I know

 

Visual Inspiration
- For Tracy Simpson

When she enters room
every head turns to see
she is like diamond moon
waves as caressing company

You can hear them rumor
trying to chance a casual stare
conversation humor
long looks from those who dare

Every direction boys and men
fixate their glancing eyes
trying to contend her beauty swiftly
chance the press of her passing guise

Reason of life for many
American dream kids wife family
all their lives they have waited patient
hoping to catch a jewel such as she

Visually inspiriting Tracy
conjures every head spin and turn
slinking like a runway model
she makes every beating heart yearn

They wish to comfort her embrace
reach her lips with kiss
obvious passion they're hungry to taste
the pleasure of one such as this

She leaves them shaken rattled
lives momentarily changed
there is no mistaken
she leaves them never to be the same

Queens are rare those of kind heart
helping others along the way
she plays well that part
hosting kindness helping many everyday

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